Walk With Me

Summer could be gone anytime
yeah I don't write in spanish this entry cause ideas simply don't flow and that really sucks since I have a big need to express myself, with a family whom I have to shut some important views I have of the world and the life...of what I want...
sometimes lfe turns a way too messy, or just confusing you know...change of plans, change of desicions...and some of your plans gone fucked

that verse of Kings Of Medicine is a good metaphor in this case :P

I've been very busy and tired, with the languages cuurses and now attending guitar classes, I mean it's ok cause I enjoy doing both...but this is INSANE!!!! 4hours 4 days a week!!! D: and now attending guitar lessons 5days a week 2 hours...gosh and I don't hve turn back to school...YET

sometimes I just wish for a real break! you know, being only with the people I want to hang with or see them, not having any kind of worry during that time, doing some of my common stuff but because I really enjoy them or don't bother me at all, you know not having any kind of rules and being free in all the ways usually I'm not, partying and getting high, being completly responsible of my own actions. Yeah some kind of independence and grow up during that break.

probably is part of the process I'm going through, but some times (if not most) is really annoying, not for the really amazing and wonderful people I know but the attitude of older, mature, closed minded people)

There's a moment you realize you have to walk alone...in some aspects...

I want to be better, not the best but good enough, feeding up my ego I know, but it's a thought I have to keep in mind in order to achieve some things I really want

I'm not a mind sane person, not at all, sometimes I think I walk somewhere between schizophrenia and bipolar syndrome; and it's not always funny as many posers, wannabe random nut people thinks. You know going in the streets and have weird thoughts about the people that sorrounds you...sex, drugs, murder, raping, cheating, lack of culture, lack of style, beauty, money, things that concern people but not fromt he 3rd person point of view.

I sometimes wonder and wish about this parallel, surreal, selfish world I have in my head, it's not peace but joy. Probably that place in my strong subconcious was created in order to fill the lack of "big social life" I mean I hang out, go to parties (not much cause I have a serious dilemma with alcohol) and stuff, but not the kind of person that has compromises 24/7, I don't like it that way also.

Placebo was the piece that was missing in that land, the master piece; without them and my friends I'm nothing.... , they made my sight bigger, made me consider and everytime I listen to them I feel something warm inside, like if I just had found home, tough sometimes that home makes me cry, it's ok cause all give sense to our world and the understanding we have of it, even if that doesn't benefits anyone.

I'm not a nihilist, I believe in karma a way too much you know?

god plays with the life of the damned souls we are, thinks we're not aware of our destinies and that in some parts can be changed.

I'm not conventional and I'm ok with that, I like androgynism and I'm ok with that, I'm pretty obsessed about Placebo and I'M GOOD WITH THAT

you know summer is strating to getting more quiality but still needs to improve or probably the big change of attitud I have toward life during this last months finally make me understand that I REALLY CAN LIVE WITHOUT SOME THINGS!!!...like sex :P idk sex simply doesn't come as the need of love actually I find love somewhat old fashioned but stills very inspiring and something that deserves respect.

My path remains unknown but it has art written all over :) art is the most finest and sacred human expression, the origin of many features of countries cultures; science was created in order to give pragmatic people satisfying asnwers.

I want to figure out more, but I know it will come at the proper time

summer will be gone, but I want to hold the freshness it gives through the autumn and winter....

and I love all my friends

farewell my forbidden cupcakes....