Blind

So what if...I just dont know how to say it

I just could simply resume it and make it easier

but it will never be easy

no when you talk about

love, sex, or just liking smoeone enough to make stupid things

I suck at these things

honestly

and its not about feeling pity on myself

its just the fucking godamn reality

the time of pitiness passed out a long time ago

but honestly

no one really understands this

its not that I make the explanation easier

its just that...

fucking god since time passed and I fell in love with a fucking jerk that rejected me

I lose myself

and Im always alone

well in that aspect

I want to

believe

share

and love

feel loved by someone

but its hard

I have weird standards

but I dont feel good if I dont use them

since some ago

there was these Oscar boy

(yeah Im saying his name I dont really care if he doenst care honestly)

many peopl call it the young love

and its true

nothing that I'll remember in maybe 8 years

but...

I felt like shit when I realizied something

this happen after a movie I went to see today

in someway the movie has to do with it

in some iother way not at all

but what if...

that this guy

has the appearance of the one I want

but in the insides

its not like that at all

Im always pleased to see his image

in someway so perfect

but

in the end

why to keep myself blind?

why to feel that ilusionated always?

it is worht

I dont know

but I dont thingk so

if that seems like a reward

pathetic

ordinary

I dont know if I will be with the one I want

its pathetic

being impatient

but what can I do?

cry

yell to myself how an idiot I am

selfish

unkind

but in some way

never the same?

or simply wait

whatever happens

I dont know if will be owrth enough...